Take Note: Utena's Journals are set in the past leading up to the present and Sia's Blogs are set in the present! [So you don't get confused]
Utena's Journal #4
_TAKE NOTE: Utena's Journals are set in the past leading up to the present
-------------------------- Part 1 --------------------------------
Hey Journal,
So the morning after... I'm writing this while Sherlock is asleep he looks so cute asleep like a child having a sweet dream :3
But
last night emotions flying everywhere, to me it's kind of awarkward
because when someone else see's this their gonna know what I've been up to but
I guess it helps than keeping all bottled up I know one day Sherlock
might see this then everything will be revealed. But until that day this
is just a secret between you and me (So let's keep it that way) Well I
suppose I should say what was going through my head....
I have
two sides inside of me, one side tells me run and grab the gun the other
tells me just let your love flood out. I just don't know what to say,
so much went through my head *sighs* I guess I just didn't see it coming. I
just don't know what to think does Sherlock mean what he said about me?
Does he really love me.... or is it just to make me happy?
- Utena [UH]
-------------------------- Part 2 --------------------------------
Hey Journal me again,
Another
killing, Poor soul "Jeff Winston" A criminal who made drugs way
dangerous for Hospitals could kill a healthy person within 30 minutes,
as soon as he was killed I made my swift escape another days work and
then the police showed up for a drugs bust but my work was done before I
left I just put a knife in his hand to show he killed himself. Oh don't
worry I wore gloves to cover my DNA hehe But yeah Sherlock texted me
once again to meet up "The other night was wonderful, wanna do it
again?" so I texted back "Meet up? Sure when?" He replied "Later on,
there won't be no one home. Got a few hours until anyone else comes
home" I couldn't help but smile and he texts again "I know your temped,
so?" I so couldn't help but giggle like a child, at the same time there
was a little voice in my head saying "UTENA WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU
THINKING! DON'T AGREE!" But the temptation just took me "Sure why not,
I'm not busy. I think I better pick out a dress that you'll like. I see
you have a thing for dark blue at the moment. Cya there <3"
Sometimes
I wonder what Sherlock gets up to during the day, I mean well most of
the time he's solving cases and people cut up by me even though I've
never got arrested for it; I wonder what he really says to the police
when he's on one of my cases... hmm next time I see him I'll ask. But
the other day I saw him with another girl, I was going to see him at
Baker Street to talk to him about the other day but I saw him get out of
a taxi with another girl holding her like he would hold me. My hopes
shattered, I couldn't believe what I saw they went in and before the
door shut he kissed her, Sherlock kissed another girl.... ANOTHER GIRL!
Is that why he has been seeing me less? Is that why he only now see's me
at night? That hateful girl been taking him away from me! I'll find out
who she is and I'll get her.
- Utena [UH]
Utena's Journal #3
Hey Journal and to whoever reads this,
I'm writing this time to something I'm sure to regret, now I'm not the kind of person who regrets things even when I kill some one... but you see. Arggh where do I begin? I suppose we could start from Saturday 25th December 2010... Christmas Day what could I regret on Christmas day well nothing this is where the story begins
Christmas Day spending it alone, again. No one to share the joy and cheers with but that doesn't matter really because alone protects me, but I get a text from Sherlock saying "Enjoying your Christmas?" so I reply "Not really, spending it alone" Sherlock then texts back "Same here, why don't we meet up then?" Normally no one would ask to meet up on Christmas day with me so I agreed, we met in a park the snow was falling. We began talking as we usually do, nothing could perpare me for what happened next. Sherlock held me close to his chest so I said "What's wrong Sherlock, this isn't you" and he just said "Sshh don't talk, I just want to hold you for a little while" A side of him I never saw before, he held me so tight that no matter how much he wanted to embrace me I could break at any time; The wind picked up my hair flowing gently, like a summer scarf lightly dancing in mid summer-air.
Minutes passed, my body couldn't help but relax onto him, a moment I wanted to last forever Sherlock embracing me I felt his warmth and kindness then the silence was broken by Sherlock saying "Utena" I rised my head and he kissed me on my lips, the moment I wanted to last forever shattered the first kissed he ever gave me was the Kiss of Regret, at the time I guess I wouldn't call it that but I could feel a tear falling out of my eye. Sherlocks kind lips locked onto my bitter lips how I wish he would stop but no matter how much I wanted to run and grab a gun I could feel my body was helpless when I'm around him oh Sherlock I wish I could tell you how much I want to hold you and kiss you but if I told you my true feelings it would be a burden on you, once he finished kissing my bitter lips I saw and felt a side of him I never saw before.
Oh god my heart aches when I'm around him, every time we meet up we always some how end up kissing and holding each other. We almost got caught once by Molly, I took him to my flat I was living in and came the day I live to regret. Once again we held and kissed each other only this time...
- Utena [UH]
Utena's Journal #2
_Hello Journal thingy...
Ever since I met Sherlock, I always see
him with another bloke his name is John I think... I'm not sure but any
ways I saw them two in a cafe the other day but I was in a taxi so I
couldn't go to them and say hi but I noticed that Sherlock has a few
tears in his eyes. I can tell when some one is upset when a normal
person can't. I can see the smallest detail it's a weird thing but I can
live with it
Then Sherlock texted me to meet up with him on top
of a Hospital Rooftop where he "apparently" he commited suicide after
Moriarty shot himself... I knew Moriarty before he got taken in by
Sherlocks brother to find something out from him, but that's not
important Sherlock arranged to meet me so I went to him. And he just
looked at me like he could see some one else other than me, I asked him
"Why call me up here? Where you apparently died?" He continued to look
at me until he said something out of the blue "Utena, I think... I-I'm
in love with you" Those words were the words I never wanted to hear from
him but instead my mind went a different direction.
Sherlock
came closer to me held me tight, the warmth and his heart pounded was so
strange to me something inside told me "For crying out loud Utena! What
do you think your doing hold him too" And another part was telling "No
no Utena push him away, you've been always alone so keep it that way!"
So I could feel my arms slowly wrapping themsevels round his waist,
something was right and wrong about that moment, that moment could be a
start of something new between me and him or could be the end of
something longing to cry out for love.
NO I MUSTN'T THINK LIKE
THAT! I've always been alone and will be forever ALONE! Sherlock is just
getting in the way of my life, I don't need him or any one! I'm always
forever alone, wrapped in the chains of Eternal Pain, the Throns of Hate
and Unforgiveness; locked in a room full of Eternal Darkness and
Silence. That's where I belong
Writting this has made me confused so for now I'll leave this as it is now.
- Utena [UH]
Utena's Journal #1
_Hey to the next person who see's this
My name is Utena Himemyia
or known to people "UH" why? Don't ask, most of my life I've been alone
my parents left me when I was 2 days old they both died after being
Assassinated by my foster parents who took me in...... Even though I was
surrounded by a great family with an older brother and a older sister I
spent most of my time in my room because I always felt out of place. I
grew up living in cities I lived a normal life until I was 13 years old I
was removed from school not because I got into trouble oh no I began a
long and painful journey to become what my family were.....
Assassinators.
A long and painful journey it wasn't easy at all,
when I was 19 years old "I finally made it" so my older sister said but I
had a feeling I hadn't made it something was missing and it's never got
off my mind. I began another journey to find that answer... that's when
I met some one who I knew I couldn't leave alone
Who knew that once you see a beautiful flower you can't not help but want to touch it